Most days I can say that am pretty patient with Lindsay and then there are days like this morning!
It is evening now and in retrospect, my lack of patience was in part, my own fault. I was projecting what I thought was the best onto what I thought Lindsay should do and in turn, it caused turmoil. The more I fought, the more she fought back, and so it goes!
She was almost ready to go "homework" ( her day program) and I was getting her breakfast and lunch ready. I noticed an abundant amount of items she carried from upstairs to take with her for the day. When I looked, there was about six to seven purses, all filled with necessary "papers" ready to go out the door. We all love our purses, but taking six with you to work, just isn't that easy and when she is in a van full of friends, having that much "stuff" can take up a whole seat! I told her she couldn't take them all, which started off the defensive reaction from her. While she was eating breakfast, I tried to be sneaky and I took most of the purses she had and hid them. That wasn't very nice of me, was it? She proceeded to go upstairs to find more to fill her need. (note: Lindsay has lots of purses!) That in turn frustrated me more and I tried changing the direction, that taking that many purses was hard for her to carry and hard on her knee, which she has been wearing a brace on, for over a month. At which point, I looked at the brace and noticed it had slipped below her knee and was very tight. I told her we needed to take it off and change the brace, for which she said, no! She let me re-adjust it but wasn't about to let me take it off! Thus, more frustration, more lack of patience from me, which raised my voice level, which caused resistance on her part, which didn't solve either of our problems!
I have learned and re-learned that just walking away can be the best solution. She went to the front room with her purses, I cleaned up the kitchen and soon the van arrived. I walked her to the van, said my hellos to everyone and she found her seat in the van along side her 4 purses and lunch box. Yes, I was still frustrated but as the day went on, I thought about the morning and the impact it had. Was it worth it? Did it really matter if she took 4 or 6 or 8 purses to work? Although you and I wouldn't probably take that many purses with us for the day, she isn't us. Maybe it gives her comfort taking all that she loves with her for the day. Maybe she fills closer to home with them. Or maybe, she really actually needs all those 6 purses!
The day has turned to evening and soon it will be bedtime and in the whole scheme of things, it didn't really matter that she had all those things with her. She always seems to manage just fine, holding all those treasures! It made me realize that in our daily lives, we are sometimes quick to push our way of doing things onto others, our reasoning for why others should or shouldn't, when in reality, each of has our own valid reasons for the things we like to do. I am not saying it won't bother me seeing her take all those purses with her and as long as she carries them all and they don't become someone elses burden, then go for it, Lindsay!
Please remind me of this tomorrow morning when I see an abundant amount of purses going out the door tomorrow! :)
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