WE ask ourselves what to do with our latest "battle" with Lindsay. Maybe not a "battle", more of an "issue" or "phase" she is going through. Looking back over her life, there are periods of time where we deal with these issues, phases or battles, whatever they might be.
When she was about three years old, all of a sudden one night at bedtime she didn't want to sleep in her bed. We would put her to bed, she would get up and after getting tired would fall asleep on the floor by her door. After many nights of trying to get her to stay in bed, we gave up and she literally made a bed on the floor. Her big bed was never slept in and it stayed made up with bedspread, sham and pillows while she had her blankets and pillow by the door that she really slept on. This went on for about two years! We finally did get her to sleep in her bed but had to move to a new home, get a new bed and either Jerry or I would literally have to stay with her until she fell asleep for her to stay put! I remember thinking, "will this ever end?"
Well, it did! Now onto this next phase! Now she wants to have her lights on AND her tv on all night! We will put the tv on timer only to have her turn it back on again with the volume up. We started unscrewing the light bulbs in her lamps which only made her frustrated and she broke the turn knob trying to make it work. We have now started unplugging the lamps at bedtime and we haven't figured out the tv situation yet.
We worry that she isn't getting a good nights sleep, however, she seems to get up and go about her day without any naps. So, are we over-reacting? Just because we like the room dark and quiet when we sleep, does she? Is it just a side effect from the seizure medicine she is on? Just like we gave in and let her sleep on the floor for two years, should we just let it go, let her keep the lights on, watch tv with one eye open all night?
We are realizing that as she gets older, more independent, knowing what she likes and dislikes, that we have to give up some control. Yet, when her tv is waking us up in the middle of the night, we ponder, what to do?
This too shall end, just hopefully sooner than two years!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Always amazed at Lindsay's intuition
It is "looking a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go". Some people are happy, some are sad or too busy to know how they feel! The list of things to do becomes longer, our recipes from last year are revisited, cleaning the house for guests to arrive and it is all very exciting.
With all that is going on, I was made aware of my mood today when Lindsay and I were at the grocery store. I did pretty well to get out of the house and run errands early since I have lots on my to-do list. Rush and multi-task, for more rushing and more tasks! She kept coming up to me and giving me a big hug and kissing my cheek. I found myself irritated at first as she would come up in front of me when I was looking at the shelf for an item. After the second or third time, I said to her, "you are awfully lovey today". Then "aah-ha", it donned on me. She, as usual, was intuitive to my mood and was trying to slow me down. She was telling me in her own way, "it's okay, mom and you need a hug". So true and just what I needed and after my aaah ha moment, our hug lasted longer.
I have come to realize that things always work out and that often the obstacles we face our ourselves. If we stop moving and thinking and fixing, that we often find a treasure under our agitation. My treasure today was that my daughter sensed my mood, saw what needed to be done and thankfully, I stopped the stirring of my mind enough to realize what she was telling me.
Thank you Lindsay for your intuitiveness, for your long hugs and for reminding me of the treasure of staying in the moment!
With all that is going on, I was made aware of my mood today when Lindsay and I were at the grocery store. I did pretty well to get out of the house and run errands early since I have lots on my to-do list. Rush and multi-task, for more rushing and more tasks! She kept coming up to me and giving me a big hug and kissing my cheek. I found myself irritated at first as she would come up in front of me when I was looking at the shelf for an item. After the second or third time, I said to her, "you are awfully lovey today". Then "aah-ha", it donned on me. She, as usual, was intuitive to my mood and was trying to slow me down. She was telling me in her own way, "it's okay, mom and you need a hug". So true and just what I needed and after my aaah ha moment, our hug lasted longer.
I have come to realize that things always work out and that often the obstacles we face our ourselves. If we stop moving and thinking and fixing, that we often find a treasure under our agitation. My treasure today was that my daughter sensed my mood, saw what needed to be done and thankfully, I stopped the stirring of my mind enough to realize what she was telling me.
Thank you Lindsay for your intuitiveness, for your long hugs and for reminding me of the treasure of staying in the moment!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The simple things sometimes aren't so simple
Hello again. FYI, the code word is still used from time to time, but who doesn't need to go back to the feelings of vacation in our everyday lives?
After giving Lindsay a shower tonight, many thoughts came to mind. Ever since she was a baby, until now at the age of 25, helping her bathe is just something we do. From adjusting the water temperature, to making sure she gets enough shampoo on her hair or sometimes to the other spectrum, making sure she doesn't use the entire bottle too! Shaving her under-arms and her legs, making sure she doesn't get the urge to pick up the razor and do it herself. Like all of us, she likes to stand in the shower and feel the warm water for long time. We thought Taylor was a long shower taker! To save time, I will often shower with her and she soon ushers me out when she wants her water hog time.
Tonight, however, it occurred to me that as she is getting older, she wants more and more independence when yet, she needs all the help that we give. Sometimes it isn't so easy to clean her ears, to clip her nails, floss her teeth. We give in, to avoid the struggle and then when I think of it, that it has been awhile, I feel so bad. How could have I forgot to to do that? She doesn't know to do it herself, some of the daily things we do for ourselves.
I will be honest. It isn't very often that when it is my shower time, that I don't include Lindsay. Sometimes it is just easier to, as they say, "kill two birds with one stone". I realized tonight, she doesn't like the idea of sharing shower time with me either! Sometimes having a few minutes alone in the shower with the warm water trickling down upon your head is just what someone needs.
But....it is so hard to let go of the simple little things we need to do for ourselves or others without letting the necessities of every day life come into play. Do I let her stand for long moments soaking up the water, forget about the forest growing on her legs, and not worry if she uses conditioner instead of shampoo? I do let up on some of those things and then like tonight, after letting things go for awhile, I realize that she depends on me/us to help her with these simple things, even if she doesn't like it.
So, as in everyday life, we learn to adapt to the situation. Okay then... not tonight.... then tomorrow I will clean your ears, shave your legs, etc but I am realizing that remembering to do those simple little things isn't so simple!
After giving Lindsay a shower tonight, many thoughts came to mind. Ever since she was a baby, until now at the age of 25, helping her bathe is just something we do. From adjusting the water temperature, to making sure she gets enough shampoo on her hair or sometimes to the other spectrum, making sure she doesn't use the entire bottle too! Shaving her under-arms and her legs, making sure she doesn't get the urge to pick up the razor and do it herself. Like all of us, she likes to stand in the shower and feel the warm water for long time. We thought Taylor was a long shower taker! To save time, I will often shower with her and she soon ushers me out when she wants her water hog time.
Tonight, however, it occurred to me that as she is getting older, she wants more and more independence when yet, she needs all the help that we give. Sometimes it isn't so easy to clean her ears, to clip her nails, floss her teeth. We give in, to avoid the struggle and then when I think of it, that it has been awhile, I feel so bad. How could have I forgot to to do that? She doesn't know to do it herself, some of the daily things we do for ourselves.
I will be honest. It isn't very often that when it is my shower time, that I don't include Lindsay. Sometimes it is just easier to, as they say, "kill two birds with one stone". I realized tonight, she doesn't like the idea of sharing shower time with me either! Sometimes having a few minutes alone in the shower with the warm water trickling down upon your head is just what someone needs.
But....it is so hard to let go of the simple little things we need to do for ourselves or others without letting the necessities of every day life come into play. Do I let her stand for long moments soaking up the water, forget about the forest growing on her legs, and not worry if she uses conditioner instead of shampoo? I do let up on some of those things and then like tonight, after letting things go for awhile, I realize that she depends on me/us to help her with these simple things, even if she doesn't like it.
So, as in everyday life, we learn to adapt to the situation. Okay then... not tonight.... then tomorrow I will clean your ears, shave your legs, etc but I am realizing that remembering to do those simple little things isn't so simple!
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