September 11th

Yesterday I awoke and thought of Lindsay.  September 11th is her birthday and it is also a date that holds so much emotion from nine years ago! 

At 7 am in the morning, nine years ago, I was driving to play golf and on the car radio heard that a plane had flown into one of the Twin Towers.  I vividly remember stopping at a traffic light, looking over to the woman in the car next to me, who was obviously listening to the same thing.  I think we were both thinking, "WHAT! Say that again! " When I arrived at the golf course, everyone was watching the news and I recall the terror and disbelief in everyones faces.  We didn't know then that it was not just an accident but a terrorist attack on our nation. Amazing that I remember so many aspects of that day, where I was at specific moments, talking to Taylor when he came home from school and going to bed feeling like I wanted to wake from a dream. Thankfully, we had celebrated Lindsay's 16th birthday with a party in our backyard the previous weekend, otherwise any celebration for her on the 11th may not have happened!

At 7 am in the morning of September 11th, 1985, 25 years ago, I was in labor!  Lindsay was two weeks late and Jerry and I had arrived at the hospital the previous evening so that my labor could  be induced.  At 3:36 the following afternoon, Lindsay Rae was born into the world!  When I first held her, with her head full of dark hair and big blue eyes, our dreams for her began and we welcomed her with love and kisses.  Our world as first time parents was just beginning too!  Learning to breast feed, late night rocking to lullabye songs, bath time and diaper time, it was part of  something we had been planning on for 9 months! Everything seemed ok at first but as time went on, little things about Lindsay were different from others her age.  Slight differences at first but more noticable as the standard milestones of developement were not achieved. 

A medical diagnosis was not given until much later, but our world was thrown upside down when we found out that our dreams for our little girl may not be what we had hoped for.  It was like planning for an extensive trip to Italy, doing all the research, planning, reading on your intended trip to Italy but then being told that we  were landing in Norway instead.  All of a sudden, our world looked a little different! 

In retrospect, different hasn't been so bad.  Yes, we would give anything if things were different for her, for us and we would  love to see Lindsay achieve all those dreams we had for her. But on September 11, 1985, Lindsay was born and she has taught us things that we would not have experienced otherwise.

So, for the date, September 11th, we honor the lives that were lost in the horrific tragedy of 9-11 and also  celebrate Lindsay, the fact that "she lights up a room with her smile, she brings sunshine to cloudy days and she spreads joy wherever she goes", words taken from a card she received.   We love you, our Lindsay Rae!   Thank you for teaching us to enjoy the little things, to be patient, loving and kind.