Last weekend Jerry and I went away for the weekend, thanks to our respite provider, Kelli! ( yes, another Kelli, with an "i") Having her stay with Lindsay allows us to go away without worrying about Lindsay. She works with her on a daily basis, knows her little habits, her likes and dislikes, shows compassion and care. Lindsay loves her and her family and has a great time with her, which is a very comforting feeling for us when family isn't staying with her.
Lately, we have learned that we don't talk about us going away, too far in advance in front of Lindsay. Long ago, we realized she understands more than we give her credit for and when she listens, she understands. She doesn't understand the concept of time but understands that mom and dad are going bye-bye and she isn't! She doesn't quite like that idea and I don't blame her! Not any fun when you have to stay home while someone else gets to go play. We love her so much but need that time by ourselves too!
When she starts thinking of us not being home, her mind starts going and going....like the energizer bunny. We see her sleep pattern go crazy, her organization skills go to the extreme and sometimes her seizures appear. It is frustrating for us as it adds worries for us as well. Should we go, should we stay, how do we comfort her mind, should we burden others with our situation? So many worries and stresses all around.
She worries about who is staying, where she is going, who is taking care of Babygrr, where is Taylor, when will we be home, who will wash her pajamas ( she loves her pajamas!) and more that we don't even know about! Her tv is usually on late at night and so is she, as she organizes her purses and papers over and over, as if that is her only control. Lately, she seems to be handling the upcoming change in her routine better but I know her mind is thinking constantly. To us, these worries of hers seem so little but to her, her world has being turned in different directions. We provide a safe and loving environment for her and when her routine changes, so does her comfort and her world as she knows it.
When we returned this past weekend, we didn't get the hug or the excitement in our return....instead, she was very serious, quiet and very focused. She sat on the couch and organized her paper, her coupons she cuts every Sunday morning for over two hours. I think it was her way of telling us, she was pretty pissed at us for leaving and wasn't in the mood to pick up where we left off! Then all of a sudden, like a light switch was turned on, she was back to Lindsay, happy and engaging.
I read a article in the Oprah Magazine lately about when things aren't going your way and nothing is working, to do nothing.....to relax, to rest and let those comfort feelings come back to you. I guess that was what Lindsay did. Her world over the weekend changed, her routine changed.....she relaxed with her comfort of purses and papers and rested until she was ready to realize that the normal comfort she feels at home with us was back and all was ok.
Then this brings up the concern for us......what do we do, how do we handle her long term comfort?.....a subject to visit later!
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