This morning was a reminder to me that we touch people's lives in ways we don't know and a reminder to tell those we care about, what they mean to us.
As I walked Lindsay out to the van this morning, one of the clients had tears in his eyes and told me he was sad. He told me he had lost another friend. I could see he was very upset, so I asked him about his friend. He told me he had started writing about him in his book so he could remember him. He carries a 3-Ring binder with him everyday, which is his book that he is writing. I realized that I had just read an obituary this morning of his friend. I told him I saw it in the paper.......he raised his eyebrows and asked if he could see the paper and have it to keep, that he wanted to see his picture. I went inside to get it and gave it to him. He looked at the photo and said, "he was one cool dude".
As I walked back into the house, tears rolling down my face, I realized how this person had touched his life. How, Lindsay's friend, "John" ( as I will call him) wanted to see his photo, write about him, tell his story so he wouldn't forget. (This is why I love what I do with my Heritage Makers business. Helping others tell the story that goes with the photos.)
So.....Lorenzo Ernest "Ernie" Garcia....you were "one cool dude" and you will be missed by "John". You touched his life, you were his friend and he is writing about you today!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Another AHA Moment!
I have read that when we get irritated with others, it is because they possess qualities that we in fact possess but haven't accepted in ourselves.
While getting packed for a weekend getaway, I got irritated with Lindsay as she proceeded to bring down to the car a BIG bag full of her beloved purses, a backpack filled with her important "papers", another purse with her phone and other accessories all of us girls love. I told her she didn't need to bring all those things and she looked at me with a look that said, "I am taking these things and there isn't anything you can do about it". I didn't battle but got irritated.
As I was packing the car, filling it with all MY crap, I had an AHA moment. My crap consisted of my knitting bag, my books AND my Kindle (go figure), my lap top and a few magazines too! I had a flash back of Jerry looking at me as he was packing the car for a weekend away and thinking, "Kelli, when do you think you are going to have time to do any of these things in two days?" And, me giving him the same look Lindsay gave me that said, "I want to work on this knitting project that I haven't touched in a year and read too, and I might have time to work on my Heritage Makers project too".
AHA, she learned it from me! Having those comforts of home that we enjoy doing during our down time when we go somewhere else. Or is it that we just like comforts of home while away?
So, from now on, I will try not to get irritated at her pile of purses that she transports from her bed to the couch or her pile of papers that keeps growing daily and she transports to and from. It is no different than my books or magazines, my projects of knitting, photos, etc. The things that brings comfort to her and that she enjoys doing are no different.
What was irritating to me, was something I do, just in a different way.
While getting packed for a weekend getaway, I got irritated with Lindsay as she proceeded to bring down to the car a BIG bag full of her beloved purses, a backpack filled with her important "papers", another purse with her phone and other accessories all of us girls love. I told her she didn't need to bring all those things and she looked at me with a look that said, "I am taking these things and there isn't anything you can do about it". I didn't battle but got irritated.
As I was packing the car, filling it with all MY crap, I had an AHA moment. My crap consisted of my knitting bag, my books AND my Kindle (go figure), my lap top and a few magazines too! I had a flash back of Jerry looking at me as he was packing the car for a weekend away and thinking, "Kelli, when do you think you are going to have time to do any of these things in two days?" And, me giving him the same look Lindsay gave me that said, "I want to work on this knitting project that I haven't touched in a year and read too, and I might have time to work on my Heritage Makers project too".
AHA, she learned it from me! Having those comforts of home that we enjoy doing during our down time when we go somewhere else. Or is it that we just like comforts of home while away?
So, from now on, I will try not to get irritated at her pile of purses that she transports from her bed to the couch or her pile of papers that keeps growing daily and she transports to and from. It is no different than my books or magazines, my projects of knitting, photos, etc. The things that brings comfort to her and that she enjoys doing are no different.
What was irritating to me, was something I do, just in a different way.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
We all could have used a little help from Lindsay in high school
First off, I haven't blogged in awhile and glad to be back!
Lindsay and I just recently returned from a girls trip to Denver for my sisters birthday. We also went to a High School reunion Happy Hour. It was sponsored by my younger sisters class of 1982 but I was going to meet up with some friends from my class in 1978. Ridiculous as it seems, walking into a bar about to see people you haven't seen since high school, still brings back all those "feelings".
As it turned out, it was mainly people a lot younger than I but thanks to Lindsay, I met almost everyone! It took no time at all for her to jump into the party mode. She didn't want to stay with me! No, she got her pop in hand and followed Wendi around as her social little shadow. Wendi would talk with someone and before I knew it, Lindsay would motion me over to meet everyone. Most people didn't know me or Lindsay and "our story". But before long, Lindsay had caught everyones eye and her ability to engage. Before the night was over, Lindsay had pulled out my camera, found a photo of Grr and was showing everyone she could. People would come over, on their own, just to see her proudly show off Grr. It was touching and thought provoking at the same time.
Lindsay knew how to work the room, as they say. She did it without judgement, without preconceived ideas. Didn't matter if they were a "jock or freak or nurd". She wanted to meet everyone and for everyone to meet each other. No matter the status, no matter the dress, no matter if they were "cool" or not, they were all equal in Lindsay's eyes.
Something we all could had a little help with in high school.
Lindsay and I just recently returned from a girls trip to Denver for my sisters birthday. We also went to a High School reunion Happy Hour. It was sponsored by my younger sisters class of 1982 but I was going to meet up with some friends from my class in 1978. Ridiculous as it seems, walking into a bar about to see people you haven't seen since high school, still brings back all those "feelings".
As it turned out, it was mainly people a lot younger than I but thanks to Lindsay, I met almost everyone! It took no time at all for her to jump into the party mode. She didn't want to stay with me! No, she got her pop in hand and followed Wendi around as her social little shadow. Wendi would talk with someone and before I knew it, Lindsay would motion me over to meet everyone. Most people didn't know me or Lindsay and "our story". But before long, Lindsay had caught everyones eye and her ability to engage. Before the night was over, Lindsay had pulled out my camera, found a photo of Grr and was showing everyone she could. People would come over, on their own, just to see her proudly show off Grr. It was touching and thought provoking at the same time.
Lindsay knew how to work the room, as they say. She did it without judgement, without preconceived ideas. Didn't matter if they were a "jock or freak or nurd". She wanted to meet everyone and for everyone to meet each other. No matter the status, no matter the dress, no matter if they were "cool" or not, they were all equal in Lindsay's eyes.
Something we all could had a little help with in high school.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
"If you do not bend, life will bend you"
We will often tell people that as much as we would want things to be different for Lindsay, she has been a blessing and has taught us many things and helped us to be more patient and definitely more flexible. A reminder of that was evident to me this morning.
All of us were ready for our day. Jerry was off to work with a webinar meeting, Lindsay had her lunch box and purses :) and was waiting for her ride to day program and I was ready to go to Hospice and then a lunch date with a friend. Then, comes a seizure and in an instant, our day changed. Lindsay would be staying home.
Every morning I read a daily thought from The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo and it is amazing that on some days, the quote or daily awakening seems so appropriate for my day. Today's thought was about humility and the "profound bow". After knowing everything I had planned for the day would now be changing, I immiediately thought about what I had just read earlier with my morning coffee. I could have been all stressed out and irritated about our changing plans, wanting "my plans" to be the "most important" and maybe I was for a little bit but knew that if I didn't take a deep breathe and bend, life would bend for me.
The great thing is that Jerry was willing to bend for me, re-arranging his day if need be and we were able to work things out all around. So much easier to bend and be flexible!
Grr, on the other hand, is still starring at me, wanting her morning walk though!
All of us were ready for our day. Jerry was off to work with a webinar meeting, Lindsay had her lunch box and purses :) and was waiting for her ride to day program and I was ready to go to Hospice and then a lunch date with a friend. Then, comes a seizure and in an instant, our day changed. Lindsay would be staying home.
Every morning I read a daily thought from The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo and it is amazing that on some days, the quote or daily awakening seems so appropriate for my day. Today's thought was about humility and the "profound bow". After knowing everything I had planned for the day would now be changing, I immiediately thought about what I had just read earlier with my morning coffee. I could have been all stressed out and irritated about our changing plans, wanting "my plans" to be the "most important" and maybe I was for a little bit but knew that if I didn't take a deep breathe and bend, life would bend for me.
The great thing is that Jerry was willing to bend for me, re-arranging his day if need be and we were able to work things out all around. So much easier to bend and be flexible!
Grr, on the other hand, is still starring at me, wanting her morning walk though!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Band-aids
If you know Lindsay, you know she loves her Band-Aids! A friend of my sister, who knows Lindsay's love for the little band of comfort, shared with me a poem written by Shel Silverstein from his book Where the Sidewalk Ends. I thought it was perfect to share with you about her adoration of this "flexible fabric"!
Band-Aids
By Shel Silverstein
I have a Band-Aid on my finger,
One on my knee, and one on my nose,
One on my heel, and two on my shoulder,
Three on my elbow, and nine on my toes.
Two on my wrist, and one on my ankle,
One on my chin, and one on my thigh,
Four on my belly, and five on my bottom,
One on my forehead, and one on my eye.
One on my neck, and in case I might need em
I have a box of thirty-five more.
But oh, I do think it's sort of a pity
I don't have a cut or a sore!
This says it all and it is so true! Many times we've had a Band-Aid on several fingers, toes, shoulders, wrists and all at the same time! We have to hide the Band-Aids around here, as many of you know. Jerry and I are dilusional if we really think Lindsay believes we have no Band-Aids on supply for her. As it has become a "fix all" for times when we don't know how to fix the situation and miraculously, we will say, "I will go and see if we can find a Band-Aid" and wall-laaa, everything seems to be better. She knows we have a stash and is totally playing us!
In the end, regardless of whether she has a cut or sore, they bring her comfort. They also seem to help us solve an issue that we can't understand or that she can't express. As the slogan on the Band-Aid box claims,
"You're going to be just fine!"
If you see a sale on Band-Aids, let me know!
Band-Aids
By Shel Silverstein
I have a Band-Aid on my finger,
One on my knee, and one on my nose,
One on my heel, and two on my shoulder,
Three on my elbow, and nine on my toes.
Two on my wrist, and one on my ankle,
One on my chin, and one on my thigh,
Four on my belly, and five on my bottom,
One on my forehead, and one on my eye.
One on my neck, and in case I might need em
I have a box of thirty-five more.
But oh, I do think it's sort of a pity
I don't have a cut or a sore!
This says it all and it is so true! Many times we've had a Band-Aid on several fingers, toes, shoulders, wrists and all at the same time! We have to hide the Band-Aids around here, as many of you know. Jerry and I are dilusional if we really think Lindsay believes we have no Band-Aids on supply for her. As it has become a "fix all" for times when we don't know how to fix the situation and miraculously, we will say, "I will go and see if we can find a Band-Aid" and wall-laaa, everything seems to be better. She knows we have a stash and is totally playing us!
In the end, regardless of whether she has a cut or sore, they bring her comfort. They also seem to help us solve an issue that we can't understand or that she can't express. As the slogan on the Band-Aid box claims,
"You're going to be just fine!"
If you see a sale on Band-Aids, let me know!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
It is just what she does
Lindsay makes people feel special. It is just what she does!
Yesterday while running errands, we were in a traffic line waiting to get out of the shopping center. There was quite a line of cars waiting to turn right and at the corner was a gentlemen holding a sign asking for help. A common sight we see these days. Lots of people struggling to make ends meet. I noticed that he was very friendly, waved at people in each car. I don't know if those people responded but he kept up with every car that came close. We were drawing closer to making our turn and I notice that Lindsay waved her hand to him, gestering for him to come see. "Come see my Babygrr" she says with her hands. My first reponse was "oh, no, Lindsay". I look up and he has an excited look on his face as though he may have hit the jackpot, or so I thought.
We had taken Grr to the park for a walk and it was a beautiful day, windows rolled down, sun shining brightly. He comes to the window and I tell him, in an apologetic way "she wants to show you her dog", thinking he is expecting me to hand him a little cash. He then says, "oh, thank you, you have such a cute little dog. Is it a Cockopoo?" "No, she is a poodle", I say and he begins to tell me that his friend's goat just had babies. I immediately realize that although a little cash would have been nice, he was just so pleased to be talking with someone, to connect with someone, like we all do.
The cars were moving forward and so was our saying goodbye. He said "thank you for showing me your dog" and we told him to have a great day and as he walked away, I noticed a little more happiness all around. I had expected an upcomfortable situation, maybe he expected some cash but what happened was that Lindsay reached out to someone with no expectations, no judgements, only belief that connecting to others is sometimes the most important thing.
She was kind for no reason......it is just what she does!
Yesterday while running errands, we were in a traffic line waiting to get out of the shopping center. There was quite a line of cars waiting to turn right and at the corner was a gentlemen holding a sign asking for help. A common sight we see these days. Lots of people struggling to make ends meet. I noticed that he was very friendly, waved at people in each car. I don't know if those people responded but he kept up with every car that came close. We were drawing closer to making our turn and I notice that Lindsay waved her hand to him, gestering for him to come see. "Come see my Babygrr" she says with her hands. My first reponse was "oh, no, Lindsay". I look up and he has an excited look on his face as though he may have hit the jackpot, or so I thought.
We had taken Grr to the park for a walk and it was a beautiful day, windows rolled down, sun shining brightly. He comes to the window and I tell him, in an apologetic way "she wants to show you her dog", thinking he is expecting me to hand him a little cash. He then says, "oh, thank you, you have such a cute little dog. Is it a Cockopoo?" "No, she is a poodle", I say and he begins to tell me that his friend's goat just had babies. I immediately realize that although a little cash would have been nice, he was just so pleased to be talking with someone, to connect with someone, like we all do.
The cars were moving forward and so was our saying goodbye. He said "thank you for showing me your dog" and we told him to have a great day and as he walked away, I noticed a little more happiness all around. I had expected an upcomfortable situation, maybe he expected some cash but what happened was that Lindsay reached out to someone with no expectations, no judgements, only belief that connecting to others is sometimes the most important thing.
She was kind for no reason......it is just what she does!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Change isn't so bad
Last weekend, Lindsay and I traveled with another mom, daughter and friend to watch Taylor and the Mesa State Baseball team play in St. George, UT. At first, Lindsay was excited about going to "Bobby ball" but as the time approached to leave, I could see her start to worry about the change in her daily routine.
Change in routine has always been a little hard for Lindsay. As she has gotten older, those changes or going to new places seem to affect her even more. She likes her own bed, to know where her things are, know where Babygrr is and who will watch her and we can't forget her purses, papers and tv!
On our drive there, she was full of questions as to where dad was, "go home?", where the Babygrr was, etc. We followed our friends and stopped for a bite to eat and she was so withdrawn and shy, even though she knew them. Upon settling in for the night, she had trouble falling asleep. She talked to herself and to me for quite awhile before finally giving in to sleep. The next morning, we stopped at the outlet stores and she was very upset that she didn't have bandaids, a wrap for her knee and chapstick. After patience from everyone, we made a special stop and all seemed good with the world after she had those little comfort items.
Her comfort level with the other girls, who are close to her in age, began to increase and it was so cute watching her want to be like them too. She wanted to wear flip flops like them, have her feet up on the bleachers and I even saw a little more independence too. She cheered on the team, loved being part of what the other girls were doing, gave out hugs, held hands and all of a sudden, the change wasn't so bad.
The next morning, however, change came quickly. The games were canceled due to the rain and our plans changed from going to shop and to "ball", to getting in the car and driving home. With tears in her eyes, she looked at me and said "I want to go to the store and go Bobby ball". For quite awhile, she was pretty upset that we weren't stopping at the store or going to the ball game. The questions started up again about what dad was doing, Babygrr, the "Connie's" in the other car and when we would be going to the store.
I plugged in her DVD and she watched the Friends Season 5 all the way and it seemed to settle her mind and also made her giggle. Made me want to watch too! None of us like change and for some, little changes are harder to deal with but with a little patience and acceptance from everyone around, change isn't so bad sometimes! She loved feeling special, like one of the girls. Don't we all!
Change in routine has always been a little hard for Lindsay. As she has gotten older, those changes or going to new places seem to affect her even more. She likes her own bed, to know where her things are, know where Babygrr is and who will watch her and we can't forget her purses, papers and tv!
On our drive there, she was full of questions as to where dad was, "go home?", where the Babygrr was, etc. We followed our friends and stopped for a bite to eat and she was so withdrawn and shy, even though she knew them. Upon settling in for the night, she had trouble falling asleep. She talked to herself and to me for quite awhile before finally giving in to sleep. The next morning, we stopped at the outlet stores and she was very upset that she didn't have bandaids, a wrap for her knee and chapstick. After patience from everyone, we made a special stop and all seemed good with the world after she had those little comfort items.
Her comfort level with the other girls, who are close to her in age, began to increase and it was so cute watching her want to be like them too. She wanted to wear flip flops like them, have her feet up on the bleachers and I even saw a little more independence too. She cheered on the team, loved being part of what the other girls were doing, gave out hugs, held hands and all of a sudden, the change wasn't so bad.
The next morning, however, change came quickly. The games were canceled due to the rain and our plans changed from going to shop and to "ball", to getting in the car and driving home. With tears in her eyes, she looked at me and said "I want to go to the store and go Bobby ball". For quite awhile, she was pretty upset that we weren't stopping at the store or going to the ball game. The questions started up again about what dad was doing, Babygrr, the "Connie's" in the other car and when we would be going to the store.
I plugged in her DVD and she watched the Friends Season 5 all the way and it seemed to settle her mind and also made her giggle. Made me want to watch too! None of us like change and for some, little changes are harder to deal with but with a little patience and acceptance from everyone around, change isn't so bad sometimes! She loved feeling special, like one of the girls. Don't we all!
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