Lindsay makes people feel special. It is just what she does!
Yesterday while running errands, we were in a traffic line waiting to get out of the shopping center. There was quite a line of cars waiting to turn right and at the corner was a gentlemen holding a sign asking for help. A common sight we see these days. Lots of people struggling to make ends meet. I noticed that he was very friendly, waved at people in each car. I don't know if those people responded but he kept up with every car that came close. We were drawing closer to making our turn and I notice that Lindsay waved her hand to him, gestering for him to come see. "Come see my Babygrr" she says with her hands. My first reponse was "oh, no, Lindsay". I look up and he has an excited look on his face as though he may have hit the jackpot, or so I thought.
We had taken Grr to the park for a walk and it was a beautiful day, windows rolled down, sun shining brightly. He comes to the window and I tell him, in an apologetic way "she wants to show you her dog", thinking he is expecting me to hand him a little cash. He then says, "oh, thank you, you have such a cute little dog. Is it a Cockopoo?" "No, she is a poodle", I say and he begins to tell me that his friend's goat just had babies. I immediately realize that although a little cash would have been nice, he was just so pleased to be talking with someone, to connect with someone, like we all do.
The cars were moving forward and so was our saying goodbye. He said "thank you for showing me your dog" and we told him to have a great day and as he walked away, I noticed a little more happiness all around. I had expected an upcomfortable situation, maybe he expected some cash but what happened was that Lindsay reached out to someone with no expectations, no judgements, only belief that connecting to others is sometimes the most important thing.
She was kind for no reason......it is just what she does!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Change isn't so bad
Last weekend, Lindsay and I traveled with another mom, daughter and friend to watch Taylor and the Mesa State Baseball team play in St. George, UT. At first, Lindsay was excited about going to "Bobby ball" but as the time approached to leave, I could see her start to worry about the change in her daily routine.
Change in routine has always been a little hard for Lindsay. As she has gotten older, those changes or going to new places seem to affect her even more. She likes her own bed, to know where her things are, know where Babygrr is and who will watch her and we can't forget her purses, papers and tv!
On our drive there, she was full of questions as to where dad was, "go home?", where the Babygrr was, etc. We followed our friends and stopped for a bite to eat and she was so withdrawn and shy, even though she knew them. Upon settling in for the night, she had trouble falling asleep. She talked to herself and to me for quite awhile before finally giving in to sleep. The next morning, we stopped at the outlet stores and she was very upset that she didn't have bandaids, a wrap for her knee and chapstick. After patience from everyone, we made a special stop and all seemed good with the world after she had those little comfort items.
Her comfort level with the other girls, who are close to her in age, began to increase and it was so cute watching her want to be like them too. She wanted to wear flip flops like them, have her feet up on the bleachers and I even saw a little more independence too. She cheered on the team, loved being part of what the other girls were doing, gave out hugs, held hands and all of a sudden, the change wasn't so bad.
The next morning, however, change came quickly. The games were canceled due to the rain and our plans changed from going to shop and to "ball", to getting in the car and driving home. With tears in her eyes, she looked at me and said "I want to go to the store and go Bobby ball". For quite awhile, she was pretty upset that we weren't stopping at the store or going to the ball game. The questions started up again about what dad was doing, Babygrr, the "Connie's" in the other car and when we would be going to the store.
I plugged in her DVD and she watched the Friends Season 5 all the way and it seemed to settle her mind and also made her giggle. Made me want to watch too! None of us like change and for some, little changes are harder to deal with but with a little patience and acceptance from everyone around, change isn't so bad sometimes! She loved feeling special, like one of the girls. Don't we all!
Change in routine has always been a little hard for Lindsay. As she has gotten older, those changes or going to new places seem to affect her even more. She likes her own bed, to know where her things are, know where Babygrr is and who will watch her and we can't forget her purses, papers and tv!
On our drive there, she was full of questions as to where dad was, "go home?", where the Babygrr was, etc. We followed our friends and stopped for a bite to eat and she was so withdrawn and shy, even though she knew them. Upon settling in for the night, she had trouble falling asleep. She talked to herself and to me for quite awhile before finally giving in to sleep. The next morning, we stopped at the outlet stores and she was very upset that she didn't have bandaids, a wrap for her knee and chapstick. After patience from everyone, we made a special stop and all seemed good with the world after she had those little comfort items.
Her comfort level with the other girls, who are close to her in age, began to increase and it was so cute watching her want to be like them too. She wanted to wear flip flops like them, have her feet up on the bleachers and I even saw a little more independence too. She cheered on the team, loved being part of what the other girls were doing, gave out hugs, held hands and all of a sudden, the change wasn't so bad.
The next morning, however, change came quickly. The games were canceled due to the rain and our plans changed from going to shop and to "ball", to getting in the car and driving home. With tears in her eyes, she looked at me and said "I want to go to the store and go Bobby ball". For quite awhile, she was pretty upset that we weren't stopping at the store or going to the ball game. The questions started up again about what dad was doing, Babygrr, the "Connie's" in the other car and when we would be going to the store.
I plugged in her DVD and she watched the Friends Season 5 all the way and it seemed to settle her mind and also made her giggle. Made me want to watch too! None of us like change and for some, little changes are harder to deal with but with a little patience and acceptance from everyone around, change isn't so bad sometimes! She loved feeling special, like one of the girls. Don't we all!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Epiphany in Child Pose
While in child pose at yoga this morning, I had an epiphany! While I was supposed to be concentrating on my breathing and setting my intention, I was thinking about my day yesterday and how I was struggling internally with some situations, relationships, making assumptions, wondering why when you try and try, why some things just aren't easy as they should be.
I realized as I started my breathing that I allowed my thoughts to transfer onto Lindsay yesterday. I got upset that she found my new hiding place for gum, that she had 15 purses on her bed. Yes, really 15! And they were full of papers, packed to the brim. I got irritated that she lost her ring while at her day program and that she wanted to "put-put" on band aids on her fingers, when she already had them on three of her fingers already. By the end of the day, I was grumpy, short tempered and cried, not knowing why I was acting this way.
What I realized is that I transferred my stress, my frustrations onto my sweet daughter, when it had nothing to do with her. Yes, I wish things could be easier but it is what it is and on a daily basis, these things are what we live. They actually make me laugh most days and help me realize, that those little things really don't matter much. Why is it that we often treat those we love in a wrong way because of something that is totally unrelated? We transfer our frustrations onto them when it is really about something else. I let those thoughts and frustrations about other things take control, which controlled how I acted.
Thanks for sharing in my self-therapy session. I try to be positive most of the time with my posts but wanted to share my feelings because we all have times when we appear to be upset about something, when in fact, if we stop and breathe, it is really about something else we just haven't "opened the door" to.
Thank God for Jerry, who has patience when I don't, who knows to take over when I can't, who knows me better than I know myself sometimes. Thank God for Lindsay, who teaches me literally daily, whose sweet and kind nature gives me a hug when I need it the most, who inside might me calling me a "focker" but loves me just the same.
Oh, and thank God for Child Pose!
I realized as I started my breathing that I allowed my thoughts to transfer onto Lindsay yesterday. I got upset that she found my new hiding place for gum, that she had 15 purses on her bed. Yes, really 15! And they were full of papers, packed to the brim. I got irritated that she lost her ring while at her day program and that she wanted to "put-put" on band aids on her fingers, when she already had them on three of her fingers already. By the end of the day, I was grumpy, short tempered and cried, not knowing why I was acting this way.
What I realized is that I transferred my stress, my frustrations onto my sweet daughter, when it had nothing to do with her. Yes, I wish things could be easier but it is what it is and on a daily basis, these things are what we live. They actually make me laugh most days and help me realize, that those little things really don't matter much. Why is it that we often treat those we love in a wrong way because of something that is totally unrelated? We transfer our frustrations onto them when it is really about something else. I let those thoughts and frustrations about other things take control, which controlled how I acted.
Thanks for sharing in my self-therapy session. I try to be positive most of the time with my posts but wanted to share my feelings because we all have times when we appear to be upset about something, when in fact, if we stop and breathe, it is really about something else we just haven't "opened the door" to.
Thank God for Jerry, who has patience when I don't, who knows to take over when I can't, who knows me better than I know myself sometimes. Thank God for Lindsay, who teaches me literally daily, whose sweet and kind nature gives me a hug when I need it the most, who inside might me calling me a "focker" but loves me just the same.
Oh, and thank God for Child Pose!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
My husband is so smart!
Since a few weeks ago when I wrote about Lindsay wanting to keep her tv and lights on at night, it has been a learning experience and a reminder to me that sometimes my husband is so smart!
We did learn to let it go, let her keep the tv on and not worry, however we did unscrew all the light bulbs! Some nights she would keep it on with no volume and other nights, we would wake from a deep sleep to hear her tv blaring with noise from C-Span or the Spanish channel!
She seemed to be adjusting during the day to less sleep until the seizures started to occur with frequency. She had one bad seizure followed by a day when she had four. Thinking she may have an infection or cold that could have triggered them, we went to our regular doctor to find her in good health but due to a lack of sleep, it could have triggered the onset of more seizures. We also saw her neurologist and after 2 years on one medication, which hasn't worked as well as it should, we are now trying a new one! Quite a process and hoping for better management!
But back to the tv! I think she just likes to have it on, as it gives her comfort of some kind. The volume thing is what we needed to figure out. She could turn the volume up on her remote but wouldn't turn it down. So to ensure OUR better nights sleep.....Jerry figured out a solution! He duct taped her remote with only the volume and channel buttons visible. Now she can turn up the volume only so far, can change channels to her hearts desire, while we have a secret remote where we can lock the volume control!
She still has her tv at night, a little volume AND we both get to sleep without learning spanish in our sleep!
We did learn to let it go, let her keep the tv on and not worry, however we did unscrew all the light bulbs! Some nights she would keep it on with no volume and other nights, we would wake from a deep sleep to hear her tv blaring with noise from C-Span or the Spanish channel!
She seemed to be adjusting during the day to less sleep until the seizures started to occur with frequency. She had one bad seizure followed by a day when she had four. Thinking she may have an infection or cold that could have triggered them, we went to our regular doctor to find her in good health but due to a lack of sleep, it could have triggered the onset of more seizures. We also saw her neurologist and after 2 years on one medication, which hasn't worked as well as it should, we are now trying a new one! Quite a process and hoping for better management!
But back to the tv! I think she just likes to have it on, as it gives her comfort of some kind. The volume thing is what we needed to figure out. She could turn the volume up on her remote but wouldn't turn it down. So to ensure OUR better nights sleep.....Jerry figured out a solution! He duct taped her remote with only the volume and channel buttons visible. Now she can turn up the volume only so far, can change channels to her hearts desire, while we have a secret remote where we can lock the volume control!
She still has her tv at night, a little volume AND we both get to sleep without learning spanish in our sleep!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Is there such a thing?
Is there such a thing as Sugarless Gum poisoning? I wonder.
I like gum, Lindsay likes gum. She is usually good with it, when it is monitored. But like when you start eating certain candy you like, it is hard to stop because it tastes so good. Just one more piece! Well, that is what it is like with Lindsay and gum.
I ask this question because as I was getting her ready for bed last night, noticed her purse open (well, one of her purses) with three packages of gum, all empty. The little wrappers all neatly tucked inside as well. Yikes, her poor stomach! I found no evidence of her spitting the gum out and I wonder what it must feel like having all that gum in your system.
Note to self.....find a better hiding spot!
I like gum, Lindsay likes gum. She is usually good with it, when it is monitored. But like when you start eating certain candy you like, it is hard to stop because it tastes so good. Just one more piece! Well, that is what it is like with Lindsay and gum.
I ask this question because as I was getting her ready for bed last night, noticed her purse open (well, one of her purses) with three packages of gum, all empty. The little wrappers all neatly tucked inside as well. Yikes, her poor stomach! I found no evidence of her spitting the gum out and I wonder what it must feel like having all that gum in your system.
Note to self.....find a better hiding spot!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
What to do??
WE ask ourselves what to do with our latest "battle" with Lindsay. Maybe not a "battle", more of an "issue" or "phase" she is going through. Looking back over her life, there are periods of time where we deal with these issues, phases or battles, whatever they might be.
When she was about three years old, all of a sudden one night at bedtime she didn't want to sleep in her bed. We would put her to bed, she would get up and after getting tired would fall asleep on the floor by her door. After many nights of trying to get her to stay in bed, we gave up and she literally made a bed on the floor. Her big bed was never slept in and it stayed made up with bedspread, sham and pillows while she had her blankets and pillow by the door that she really slept on. This went on for about two years! We finally did get her to sleep in her bed but had to move to a new home, get a new bed and either Jerry or I would literally have to stay with her until she fell asleep for her to stay put! I remember thinking, "will this ever end?"
Well, it did! Now onto this next phase! Now she wants to have her lights on AND her tv on all night! We will put the tv on timer only to have her turn it back on again with the volume up. We started unscrewing the light bulbs in her lamps which only made her frustrated and she broke the turn knob trying to make it work. We have now started unplugging the lamps at bedtime and we haven't figured out the tv situation yet.
We worry that she isn't getting a good nights sleep, however, she seems to get up and go about her day without any naps. So, are we over-reacting? Just because we like the room dark and quiet when we sleep, does she? Is it just a side effect from the seizure medicine she is on? Just like we gave in and let her sleep on the floor for two years, should we just let it go, let her keep the lights on, watch tv with one eye open all night?
We are realizing that as she gets older, more independent, knowing what she likes and dislikes, that we have to give up some control. Yet, when her tv is waking us up in the middle of the night, we ponder, what to do?
This too shall end, just hopefully sooner than two years!
When she was about three years old, all of a sudden one night at bedtime she didn't want to sleep in her bed. We would put her to bed, she would get up and after getting tired would fall asleep on the floor by her door. After many nights of trying to get her to stay in bed, we gave up and she literally made a bed on the floor. Her big bed was never slept in and it stayed made up with bedspread, sham and pillows while she had her blankets and pillow by the door that she really slept on. This went on for about two years! We finally did get her to sleep in her bed but had to move to a new home, get a new bed and either Jerry or I would literally have to stay with her until she fell asleep for her to stay put! I remember thinking, "will this ever end?"
Well, it did! Now onto this next phase! Now she wants to have her lights on AND her tv on all night! We will put the tv on timer only to have her turn it back on again with the volume up. We started unscrewing the light bulbs in her lamps which only made her frustrated and she broke the turn knob trying to make it work. We have now started unplugging the lamps at bedtime and we haven't figured out the tv situation yet.
We worry that she isn't getting a good nights sleep, however, she seems to get up and go about her day without any naps. So, are we over-reacting? Just because we like the room dark and quiet when we sleep, does she? Is it just a side effect from the seizure medicine she is on? Just like we gave in and let her sleep on the floor for two years, should we just let it go, let her keep the lights on, watch tv with one eye open all night?
We are realizing that as she gets older, more independent, knowing what she likes and dislikes, that we have to give up some control. Yet, when her tv is waking us up in the middle of the night, we ponder, what to do?
This too shall end, just hopefully sooner than two years!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Always amazed at Lindsay's intuition
It is "looking a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go". Some people are happy, some are sad or too busy to know how they feel! The list of things to do becomes longer, our recipes from last year are revisited, cleaning the house for guests to arrive and it is all very exciting.
With all that is going on, I was made aware of my mood today when Lindsay and I were at the grocery store. I did pretty well to get out of the house and run errands early since I have lots on my to-do list. Rush and multi-task, for more rushing and more tasks! She kept coming up to me and giving me a big hug and kissing my cheek. I found myself irritated at first as she would come up in front of me when I was looking at the shelf for an item. After the second or third time, I said to her, "you are awfully lovey today". Then "aah-ha", it donned on me. She, as usual, was intuitive to my mood and was trying to slow me down. She was telling me in her own way, "it's okay, mom and you need a hug". So true and just what I needed and after my aaah ha moment, our hug lasted longer.
I have come to realize that things always work out and that often the obstacles we face our ourselves. If we stop moving and thinking and fixing, that we often find a treasure under our agitation. My treasure today was that my daughter sensed my mood, saw what needed to be done and thankfully, I stopped the stirring of my mind enough to realize what she was telling me.
Thank you Lindsay for your intuitiveness, for your long hugs and for reminding me of the treasure of staying in the moment!
With all that is going on, I was made aware of my mood today when Lindsay and I were at the grocery store. I did pretty well to get out of the house and run errands early since I have lots on my to-do list. Rush and multi-task, for more rushing and more tasks! She kept coming up to me and giving me a big hug and kissing my cheek. I found myself irritated at first as she would come up in front of me when I was looking at the shelf for an item. After the second or third time, I said to her, "you are awfully lovey today". Then "aah-ha", it donned on me. She, as usual, was intuitive to my mood and was trying to slow me down. She was telling me in her own way, "it's okay, mom and you need a hug". So true and just what I needed and after my aaah ha moment, our hug lasted longer.
I have come to realize that things always work out and that often the obstacles we face our ourselves. If we stop moving and thinking and fixing, that we often find a treasure under our agitation. My treasure today was that my daughter sensed my mood, saw what needed to be done and thankfully, I stopped the stirring of my mind enough to realize what she was telling me.
Thank you Lindsay for your intuitiveness, for your long hugs and for reminding me of the treasure of staying in the moment!
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