Yesterday I awoke and thought of Lindsay. September 11th is her birthday and it is also a date that holds so much emotion from nine years ago!
At 7 am in the morning, nine years ago, I was driving to play golf and on the car radio heard that a plane had flown into one of the Twin Towers. I vividly remember stopping at a traffic light, looking over to the woman in the car next to me, who was obviously listening to the same thing. I think we were both thinking, "WHAT! Say that again! " When I arrived at the golf course, everyone was watching the news and I recall the terror and disbelief in everyones faces. We didn't know then that it was not just an accident but a terrorist attack on our nation. Amazing that I remember so many aspects of that day, where I was at specific moments, talking to Taylor when he came home from school and going to bed feeling like I wanted to wake from a dream. Thankfully, we had celebrated Lindsay's 16th birthday with a party in our backyard the previous weekend, otherwise any celebration for her on the 11th may not have happened!
At 7 am in the morning of September 11th, 1985, 25 years ago, I was in labor! Lindsay was two weeks late and Jerry and I had arrived at the hospital the previous evening so that my labor could be induced. At 3:36 the following afternoon, Lindsay Rae was born into the world! When I first held her, with her head full of dark hair and big blue eyes, our dreams for her began and we welcomed her with love and kisses. Our world as first time parents was just beginning too! Learning to breast feed, late night rocking to lullabye songs, bath time and diaper time, it was part of something we had been planning on for 9 months! Everything seemed ok at first but as time went on, little things about Lindsay were different from others her age. Slight differences at first but more noticable as the standard milestones of developement were not achieved.
A medical diagnosis was not given until much later, but our world was thrown upside down when we found out that our dreams for our little girl may not be what we had hoped for. It was like planning for an extensive trip to Italy, doing all the research, planning, reading on your intended trip to Italy but then being told that we were landing in Norway instead. All of a sudden, our world looked a little different!
In retrospect, different hasn't been so bad. Yes, we would give anything if things were different for her, for us and we would love to see Lindsay achieve all those dreams we had for her. But on September 11, 1985, Lindsay was born and she has taught us things that we would not have experienced otherwise.
So, for the date, September 11th, we honor the lives that were lost in the horrific tragedy of 9-11 and also celebrate Lindsay, the fact that "she lights up a room with her smile, she brings sunshine to cloudy days and she spreads joy wherever she goes", words taken from a card she received. We love you, our Lindsay Rae! Thank you for teaching us to enjoy the little things, to be patient, loving and kind.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
It's going to be a good day!
It's Tuesday after Labor Day weekend and like everyone else, Lindsay wasn't real thrilled with returning to "homework", her day program. The normal routine of seeing Dad go to work on Monday morning and a day home with mom had been thrown off. In true Lindsay fashion though, she got up with a smile, slowly got dressed, brushed her teeth, hugged Grr and gathered her purses, yes, purses, ready for the day!
Even for me, the day came early and having an extra day to relax was nice. We were all slower this morning but no matter my mood, it changes when I open the door to the van and see it full of happy faces! Always smiling and ready for their day too! There is Tim, (names have been changed for privacy purposes) who gets out and opens the door for Lindsay with a smile and tells me that "yep, I still have my girlfriend". A big hand reaches out to shake mine every morning, and James asks me how I am doing and then tells me that he would really like to ask Lindsay out on a date, that I should think about it and more importantly, that it is 17 more days until he leaves for California and Disneyland. He then adds that he has written a song and will put it on a CD! I think I would really like to listen to that song. I didn't notice his knitting today, which he usually is working on diligently. He tells me he hasn't decided what he is making yet though. :)
Then there is Tony who loves sports, always tells me what team wins and loses and asked if Lindsay could come spend the night sometime. He told me another friend we know, a boy, did last weekend. I told him that it was nice of him to ask but Lindsay is a girl. He promptly responded, "oh ya, no girls allowed"!
Lindsay gets in, passes by Cindy, who she knocks in the head with her arm full of purses. Never a peep, just a smile and a sweet hello. I tell Lindsay I love her and will see her when she gets home. She is more excited that we will go get Grr treats at the store later. I look in to say goodbye to everyone else, and get waves for the day and I tell them to have a good day. James jokingly tells me "maybe I will, maybe I won't", with a big smile and proud of his sense of humor. I close the door and think to myself, "it's going to be a good day". How could it not be, all of you have started mine off with a smile and chuckle to my heart.
Even for me, the day came early and having an extra day to relax was nice. We were all slower this morning but no matter my mood, it changes when I open the door to the van and see it full of happy faces! Always smiling and ready for their day too! There is Tim, (names have been changed for privacy purposes) who gets out and opens the door for Lindsay with a smile and tells me that "yep, I still have my girlfriend". A big hand reaches out to shake mine every morning, and James asks me how I am doing and then tells me that he would really like to ask Lindsay out on a date, that I should think about it and more importantly, that it is 17 more days until he leaves for California and Disneyland. He then adds that he has written a song and will put it on a CD! I think I would really like to listen to that song. I didn't notice his knitting today, which he usually is working on diligently. He tells me he hasn't decided what he is making yet though. :)
Then there is Tony who loves sports, always tells me what team wins and loses and asked if Lindsay could come spend the night sometime. He told me another friend we know, a boy, did last weekend. I told him that it was nice of him to ask but Lindsay is a girl. He promptly responded, "oh ya, no girls allowed"!
Lindsay gets in, passes by Cindy, who she knocks in the head with her arm full of purses. Never a peep, just a smile and a sweet hello. I tell Lindsay I love her and will see her when she gets home. She is more excited that we will go get Grr treats at the store later. I look in to say goodbye to everyone else, and get waves for the day and I tell them to have a good day. James jokingly tells me "maybe I will, maybe I won't", with a big smile and proud of his sense of humor. I close the door and think to myself, "it's going to be a good day". How could it not be, all of you have started mine off with a smile and chuckle to my heart.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
My Bobby 13
On August 30th, Lindsay's brother, Taylor turned 21! She says "My Bobby 13"though.
There is a four year difference between them and she is the oldest. From day one of meeting him, she loved her "bobby"! She took the role of big sister very seriously, wanting to help bathe him, feed him, hold him and love him. I still vividly remember the day when Taylor was one week old. Jerry and I were in the kitchen and we heard this call, "ma". We went to the stairs to see her holding Taylor with her arm around his neck. Jerry and I looked at each other and simultaneously thought, "how did she get him out of his crib"? His little body was dangling, with his head held firmly in her arm. He wasn't crying and she had the proudest grin! She must have felt he needed our attention. To this day, we don't know how she managed to climb up into the crib, get him and get out of the crib! Yikes, the thought still scares me. Over the next few years, he watched and learned from her and she did the same.
It was when Taylor started talking that we noticed a change in her vocabulary. At that time too, we had started trying some sign language to help her express her needs and of course, Taylor learned some as well. They were buddies. Taylor called her Dede and she called him Tay. As time went along, Taylor seemed to know that Dede wasn't able to do some things and that she wasn't talking like he did. He showed patience and acceptance even at a young age and I know that although his mind wondered why, he seemed to know that Lindsay was who she was and loved her!
Taylor became involved in sports and Lindsay, one of his biggest fans. He also supported her as well when she played in the Challenger Baseball league. As many ball games as she has attended, she never hardly complained, except for a few times when she said, "no ball", as in, not another one! Nevertheless, she watched him in cold weather, hot weather, in sweaty gyms, in grassy fields, from golf carts to bleachers. She has been there, cheering him on! We played golf yesterday to celebreate with Taylor and Lindsay was there cheering him on! "yeah Bobby, get the ball.....oh, my Bobby"! If the video downloads correctly below, it is Taylor warming up to pitch in a game with Lindsay cheering in the background....."Oh,my Bobby"!
There is a four year difference between them and she is the oldest. From day one of meeting him, she loved her "bobby"! She took the role of big sister very seriously, wanting to help bathe him, feed him, hold him and love him. I still vividly remember the day when Taylor was one week old. Jerry and I were in the kitchen and we heard this call, "ma". We went to the stairs to see her holding Taylor with her arm around his neck. Jerry and I looked at each other and simultaneously thought, "how did she get him out of his crib"? His little body was dangling, with his head held firmly in her arm. He wasn't crying and she had the proudest grin! She must have felt he needed our attention. To this day, we don't know how she managed to climb up into the crib, get him and get out of the crib! Yikes, the thought still scares me. Over the next few years, he watched and learned from her and she did the same.
It was when Taylor started talking that we noticed a change in her vocabulary. At that time too, we had started trying some sign language to help her express her needs and of course, Taylor learned some as well. They were buddies. Taylor called her Dede and she called him Tay. As time went along, Taylor seemed to know that Dede wasn't able to do some things and that she wasn't talking like he did. He showed patience and acceptance even at a young age and I know that although his mind wondered why, he seemed to know that Lindsay was who she was and loved her!
Taylor became involved in sports and Lindsay, one of his biggest fans. He also supported her as well when she played in the Challenger Baseball league. As many ball games as she has attended, she never hardly complained, except for a few times when she said, "no ball", as in, not another one! Nevertheless, she watched him in cold weather, hot weather, in sweaty gyms, in grassy fields, from golf carts to bleachers. She has been there, cheering him on! We played golf yesterday to celebreate with Taylor and Lindsay was there cheering him on! "yeah Bobby, get the ball.....oh, my Bobby"! If the video downloads correctly below, it is Taylor warming up to pitch in a game with Lindsay cheering in the background....."Oh,my Bobby"!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Yet Without A Word...or Lots of Words :)
It was just past 10 pm and all of us were watching the news. Jerry, Lindsay, Babygrr and I. All comfy and cozy, ready to relax and unwind but when I think about it....unwind during the news?
Anyway, while settling in, Lindsay was in a very talkative mood. Every person that came on T.V., she would say, "I don't know her" and then that was followed by "I don't know her", then by another, "I don't know her"! Then it was "I want to go to the store, get beez, get pop, get boo"! FYI, Beez is gum. Her mind was working and thinking about the next day, planning it out in her mind. She started asking Jerry, "you go homework?". (Translation: Are you going to work tomorrow?) followed by, "I go homework?" (Do I have to go to work?) and looking at me and asking, "you home 2?". (Translation: Will you be home when I get home at 2?). The sports came on and then it was "get the ball!" (in a very loud voice)and "I want to call Bobby" (Taylor because she knows he loves sports) and during the commercials, she said, "I want to get my papa one of those". I am sure your papa would love a truck, Lindsay! That is very thoughtful!
It was non-stop verbal output! Jerry looked over to me and said, "you know, it is kind of hard to tell your daughter who doesn't talk much,to be quiet"! So true, but we did! Just so you know, it didn't work!
Lindsay's language has changed constantly over the years. She has words that she uses regularly and then those that she has used, never to be heard again! It has always puzzled us why she could say some words so clearly while another word that sounds similiar she wouldn't or couldn't say. Or how she can say a complete sentence, like "I want to get my papa one of those" but others phrases she won't. Why she counts 1,2,4,8,13 but won't say 3 but will say 13 plain as day!. Maybe she is secretly showing us a mathematical sequence no one knows!
When she was very little, she said mama, dada and jibberish, as we called it. She jibbered and jabbered, with much to say, all in her own way. Her big blue eyes, full of expression and animation, we knew what she wanted! Language as we know it was not there but when Taylor was born, she called him "Tay" but soon she stopped and he was then called "Bobby". Crazy, uh? We were perplexed. Around this time, Jerry wrote a poem to Lindsay in 1989:
YET WITHOUT A WORD
You love me unconditionaly, no matter what my mood.
You hug me when I least expect it and help me without my asking.
After a long, extended weekend and I'm depressed about returning to work, you meet me in the bathroom and happily watch me prepare.
Although, Yet Without A Word, you always show that you care. You're a special child, not like many others. I worry about you, but I realize that your differences are why are you are so special.
When I scold you, you pout and widely open your blue eyes expressing your desire for forgiveness. You pat your little brothers head and squeeze him so tightly almost pulling him from his seat. You show little jealousy as though you know that there is plenty of love to go around.
I love you my little girl and I'll not forget these times. Although they may not last forever, they will always be apart of me- these times we share together.
Dad - 1989
Seems like yesterday that she was Yet Without A Word but the other night, while trying to have some quiet time, She was With Alot of Words!
Anyway, while settling in, Lindsay was in a very talkative mood. Every person that came on T.V., she would say, "I don't know her" and then that was followed by "I don't know her", then by another, "I don't know her"! Then it was "I want to go to the store, get beez, get pop, get boo"! FYI, Beez is gum. Her mind was working and thinking about the next day, planning it out in her mind. She started asking Jerry, "you go homework?". (Translation: Are you going to work tomorrow?) followed by, "I go homework?" (Do I have to go to work?) and looking at me and asking, "you home 2?". (Translation: Will you be home when I get home at 2?). The sports came on and then it was "get the ball!" (in a very loud voice)and "I want to call Bobby" (Taylor because she knows he loves sports) and during the commercials, she said, "I want to get my papa one of those". I am sure your papa would love a truck, Lindsay! That is very thoughtful!
It was non-stop verbal output! Jerry looked over to me and said, "you know, it is kind of hard to tell your daughter who doesn't talk much,to be quiet"! So true, but we did! Just so you know, it didn't work!
Lindsay's language has changed constantly over the years. She has words that she uses regularly and then those that she has used, never to be heard again! It has always puzzled us why she could say some words so clearly while another word that sounds similiar she wouldn't or couldn't say. Or how she can say a complete sentence, like "I want to get my papa one of those" but others phrases she won't. Why she counts 1,2,4,8,13 but won't say 3 but will say 13 plain as day!. Maybe she is secretly showing us a mathematical sequence no one knows!
When she was very little, she said mama, dada and jibberish, as we called it. She jibbered and jabbered, with much to say, all in her own way. Her big blue eyes, full of expression and animation, we knew what she wanted! Language as we know it was not there but when Taylor was born, she called him "Tay" but soon she stopped and he was then called "Bobby". Crazy, uh? We were perplexed. Around this time, Jerry wrote a poem to Lindsay in 1989:
YET WITHOUT A WORD
You love me unconditionaly, no matter what my mood.
You hug me when I least expect it and help me without my asking.
After a long, extended weekend and I'm depressed about returning to work, you meet me in the bathroom and happily watch me prepare.
Although, Yet Without A Word, you always show that you care. You're a special child, not like many others. I worry about you, but I realize that your differences are why are you are so special.
When I scold you, you pout and widely open your blue eyes expressing your desire for forgiveness. You pat your little brothers head and squeeze him so tightly almost pulling him from his seat. You show little jealousy as though you know that there is plenty of love to go around.
I love you my little girl and I'll not forget these times. Although they may not last forever, they will always be apart of me- these times we share together.
Dad - 1989
Seems like yesterday that she was Yet Without A Word but the other night, while trying to have some quiet time, She was With Alot of Words!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Angels amoung us!
I had intended to write more about Lindsay's language and how it has changed over the years but that will wait till next week!
After last weekend when Jerry and I were able to go to Denver and have time for just us, I felt the need to say how blessed we are with those angels amoung us! They are the people in our lives who help us have those moments for just ourselves.
When you have children, you need babysitters! As your kids grow, especially kids with special needs, finding babysitters become more of an issue. Lindsay is almost 25 and it isn't as easy as calling the neighborhood babysitter to come down and watch her anymore. When we aren't with Lindsay, we need someome who is willing to watch her 24 hours, who is willing to help her in the bathroom, to assist with seizures if they happen, understand her language,etc. It is a big responsibility and one that Jerry and I pass along, which is hard to do sometimes. It is so comforting to know she is cared for with love and concern and that we are able to let go of our control if you will and "be".
I think of my dear friend, Eileen and her special needs daughter who needs more care than our Lindsay. I recently shared lunch with her and heard about their trip to Costa Rica,just her and her husband and the effort it took for her to get away. I listened to her telling me about her trip, thinking to myself, I know how precious a time it was for her, how we all need that time to refresh our relationships.
So whether it be family, friends, caregivers who help us when we need that little respite, Jerry and I say thank you. You are our angels as we release our care over to you for our precious kids.
After last weekend when Jerry and I were able to go to Denver and have time for just us, I felt the need to say how blessed we are with those angels amoung us! They are the people in our lives who help us have those moments for just ourselves.
When you have children, you need babysitters! As your kids grow, especially kids with special needs, finding babysitters become more of an issue. Lindsay is almost 25 and it isn't as easy as calling the neighborhood babysitter to come down and watch her anymore. When we aren't with Lindsay, we need someome who is willing to watch her 24 hours, who is willing to help her in the bathroom, to assist with seizures if they happen, understand her language,etc. It is a big responsibility and one that Jerry and I pass along, which is hard to do sometimes. It is so comforting to know she is cared for with love and concern and that we are able to let go of our control if you will and "be".
I think of my dear friend, Eileen and her special needs daughter who needs more care than our Lindsay. I recently shared lunch with her and heard about their trip to Costa Rica,just her and her husband and the effort it took for her to get away. I listened to her telling me about her trip, thinking to myself, I know how precious a time it was for her, how we all need that time to refresh our relationships.
So whether it be family, friends, caregivers who help us when we need that little respite, Jerry and I say thank you. You are our angels as we release our care over to you for our precious kids.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Lindsay Language is contagious!
Despite Lindsay's Chromosome deficiency,which has impacted her learning and language developement, she has no problem communicating!!
Lindsay has great receptive language and understands more than we think she does! Her verbal skills, however are limited to approximately 80 words BUT, she has some words that she has created that have meaning to her, that we call Lindsay Language.
From Taylor's friends, our friends and family, alike, her use of words and the way she says them, are contagious! If you have spent time around us, seen posts on facebook to friends or know Lindsay, you know what I am talking about. Her are some translations:
"BOBBY" - her reference to boys. ie: "Hi Bobby", which she says to her brother, Taylor or to any other boy for that matter!
"CONNIE" - her reference to girls. ie: "Hi Connie", even though it might be my sister, Wendi she is talking to. Girls are Connie's and boys are Bobby's.
"MECUR" - her medicine. ie: "I need my mecur"
"POR" - gas, money, bank, post office. ie: "get your por, mom" meaning get your gas, get your money, get your mail, etc.
"CACA" - sounds bad :) but means coffee! "You want caca, Mom?"
"YOURS ON" - meaning a tv show is on she knows we watch, like Oprah or baseball!
"I FEW" - I am cold, I am hot. You have to guess whether it is cold or hot outside to know which one she is!
"PUT PUT ON" - Put on a bandaid, put on lotion, put on jewelry, etc.
"GET GET YOURS" - a reminder to go get your.....glasses, book, purse, etc. She is our reminder! Tell her once to remind you to do something, you won't hear the end of it until you get 'er done!
"BOO" - her word for beer, butts and boobs and underwear! ie: "You want boo, dad?" or
"Oh, mom, your boo" meaning one of those other three are showing! :)
"SHE-SHE" - her grandmothers names are Shirley and Shirlee, so she calls them Sheshe.
In addition, there are her phrases she uses which most would understand, it is in her delivery that they become contagious. Such as, "you home?", "call your mom", "I want one of those","I want to go to the store!","I want pop!","I want my Bobby (brother)home" and a favorite of most, "you hot!". A favorite memory is when we invited new friends for dinner and Lindsay obviously liked one of them, pointed and said, "you hot"! She doesn't waste any time! When we are golfing, we love to have her keep our score. Walking off the green, she will say "you have 4 mom?" and I say, "I wish".
Even Lindsay has a cuss word too! I do want to say, we don't use the word that sounds like it in our house but after seeing the movie, The Fockers, she picked up that one! And she uses it appropriately too! Quite funny at first, we try to discourage that one!
I'd like to share a letter Lindsay got in the mail from a friend of ours. She was so excited to open the envelope and the letter reinforced to us, that Lindsay touches lives and so does her language!
"My dearest Lindsay,
Here's to all "hot Bobby's and Connie's". I love all those "fockers"! And here's to full tanks of "por". Not to mention, "give me 8" is way better than "10". I love when you give me "4" on the links. You're a great caddie.
I did "call my mom" today. I remembered to do that thanks to you! Tell "She-she" hi.
I think I need a "boo".
I love you and may God continue to bless you. You are wonderful gift from God to me and my family.
Love Lisa and all my Bobby's"
Jer and I smile when we hear Lindsay Language! It is one thing you won't mind catching!
Have a great day!
Lindsay has great receptive language and understands more than we think she does! Her verbal skills, however are limited to approximately 80 words BUT, she has some words that she has created that have meaning to her, that we call Lindsay Language.
From Taylor's friends, our friends and family, alike, her use of words and the way she says them, are contagious! If you have spent time around us, seen posts on facebook to friends or know Lindsay, you know what I am talking about. Her are some translations:
"BOBBY" - her reference to boys. ie: "Hi Bobby", which she says to her brother, Taylor or to any other boy for that matter!
"CONNIE" - her reference to girls. ie: "Hi Connie", even though it might be my sister, Wendi she is talking to. Girls are Connie's and boys are Bobby's.
"MECUR" - her medicine. ie: "I need my mecur"
"POR" - gas, money, bank, post office. ie: "get your por, mom" meaning get your gas, get your money, get your mail, etc.
"CACA" - sounds bad :) but means coffee! "You want caca, Mom?"
"YOURS ON" - meaning a tv show is on she knows we watch, like Oprah or baseball!
"I FEW" - I am cold, I am hot. You have to guess whether it is cold or hot outside to know which one she is!
"PUT PUT ON" - Put on a bandaid, put on lotion, put on jewelry, etc.
"GET GET YOURS" - a reminder to go get your.....glasses, book, purse, etc. She is our reminder! Tell her once to remind you to do something, you won't hear the end of it until you get 'er done!
"BOO" - her word for beer, butts and boobs and underwear! ie: "You want boo, dad?" or
"Oh, mom, your boo" meaning one of those other three are showing! :)
"SHE-SHE" - her grandmothers names are Shirley and Shirlee, so she calls them Sheshe.
In addition, there are her phrases she uses which most would understand, it is in her delivery that they become contagious. Such as, "you home?", "call your mom", "I want one of those","I want to go to the store!","I want pop!","I want my Bobby (brother)home" and a favorite of most, "you hot!". A favorite memory is when we invited new friends for dinner and Lindsay obviously liked one of them, pointed and said, "you hot"! She doesn't waste any time! When we are golfing, we love to have her keep our score. Walking off the green, she will say "you have 4 mom?" and I say, "I wish".
Even Lindsay has a cuss word too! I do want to say, we don't use the word that sounds like it in our house but after seeing the movie, The Fockers, she picked up that one! And she uses it appropriately too! Quite funny at first, we try to discourage that one!
I'd like to share a letter Lindsay got in the mail from a friend of ours. She was so excited to open the envelope and the letter reinforced to us, that Lindsay touches lives and so does her language!
"My dearest Lindsay,
Here's to all "hot Bobby's and Connie's". I love all those "fockers"! And here's to full tanks of "por". Not to mention, "give me 8" is way better than "10". I love when you give me "4" on the links. You're a great caddie.
I did "call my mom" today. I remembered to do that thanks to you! Tell "She-she" hi.
I think I need a "boo".
I love you and may God continue to bless you. You are wonderful gift from God to me and my family.
Love Lisa and all my Bobby's"
Jer and I smile when we hear Lindsay Language! It is one thing you won't mind catching!
Have a great day!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Things are sometimes not what they appear
First of all, thank you for all the kind words of support from everyone! I started journaling years ago, thanks to my Aunt Barbara, who gave me a journal when Lindsay was 6 months old. So thankful for that gift, as it holds precious memories of Lindsay and Taylor! Moments that would have easily slipped my mind otherwise.
In my first blog post,I shared a journal entry from December 2008. To follow up, I'd like to share with you about our day on January 4th, 2009.
It happened to be another Sunday morning and I was reading the paper, enjoying a cup of brew and heard a scream! I ran upstairs to find Lindsay having a terrible seizure. It was not like one we had ever experienced before. It was terrifying to watch and it seemed to be never ending. Even more disturbing was when the seizure stopped, she wasn't able to speak or react to us. She had a blank stare, was non-responsive and had also lost control of her bladder. Jerry had called 911 and by the time they arrived, Lindsay had started responding to us but then had another seizure while they were taking her vitals. I can still remember the three of us, Taylor, Jerry and I standing there, all with a blank stare as well. So surreal, was this really happening to our Lindsay?
As we followed the ambulance to the hospital, I had an "aha moment"! That morning in December had to have been just like this one! She had a bad seizure and we didn't know about it! Which terrified me in another way! She had experienced something tramatic that December morning, couldn't verbalize to us what had happened and then the frustration began for all of us as we tried to understand the way she was acting. She wasn't being stubborn or embarrassed, wanting things her way. Her body and mind were still reeling from a seizure!
Thankfully, to date, we have not had any more Sunday mornings like those. We have friends whose children experience those type of seizures often and I can't imagine!
I have heard the saying "to be kind to those around us" because everyone is experiencing something in the their lives we may not know about. We can be quick to judge or to think we know why, but in reality, things are not always what they appear to be.
Have a happy day!
In my first blog post,I shared a journal entry from December 2008. To follow up, I'd like to share with you about our day on January 4th, 2009.
It happened to be another Sunday morning and I was reading the paper, enjoying a cup of brew and heard a scream! I ran upstairs to find Lindsay having a terrible seizure. It was not like one we had ever experienced before. It was terrifying to watch and it seemed to be never ending. Even more disturbing was when the seizure stopped, she wasn't able to speak or react to us. She had a blank stare, was non-responsive and had also lost control of her bladder. Jerry had called 911 and by the time they arrived, Lindsay had started responding to us but then had another seizure while they were taking her vitals. I can still remember the three of us, Taylor, Jerry and I standing there, all with a blank stare as well. So surreal, was this really happening to our Lindsay?
As we followed the ambulance to the hospital, I had an "aha moment"! That morning in December had to have been just like this one! She had a bad seizure and we didn't know about it! Which terrified me in another way! She had experienced something tramatic that December morning, couldn't verbalize to us what had happened and then the frustration began for all of us as we tried to understand the way she was acting. She wasn't being stubborn or embarrassed, wanting things her way. Her body and mind were still reeling from a seizure!
Thankfully, to date, we have not had any more Sunday mornings like those. We have friends whose children experience those type of seizures often and I can't imagine!
I have heard the saying "to be kind to those around us" because everyone is experiencing something in the their lives we may not know about. We can be quick to judge or to think we know why, but in reality, things are not always what they appear to be.
Have a happy day!
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